mods please lmk if this violates the rules. i’m posting here because I write about the mob/casino and many relevant themes that are important elements of the Sopranos, in my opinion. I think they’re of the same medium and genre so wanted to post here. Hope that’s alright. Cheers! (11 min read) ————————————————————————
EDIT 2: TL;DR -
Casino is a story of sexual and financial intrigue, mob violence, union pension fund embezzlement, a “love” story, and the protagonist's masochist addiction to the pain and chaos his lover inflicts on him. It turns out that the sharp-minded genius who meticulously runs the casino, is no more rational than the gamblers who routinely frequent the casino, coming back to lose their money and hoping that the odds will magically shift in their favor.
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Every good filmmaker makes the same movie over and over again—Martin Scorsese is no different
Scorsese's Casino is a phenomenal story of the condoned chaos and "legalized robbery" that happens on a daily basis to gamblers who bett away thousands of dollars and return each day for more “FinDom,” but without any of the sexual sadism. The whole scam only persists because the house always wins: the odds are stacked 3 million to one on the slot machines, but the same shmucks return wide-eyed each day hoping for a different outcome, devoid of any rational re-evaluation required to maintain their grasp on reality, and the liquidity of their bank accounts.
Casino is a story of sexual and financial intrigue, mob violence, union pension fund embezzlement, a “love” story, and the protagonist's masochist addiction to the pain and chaos his lover inflicts on him. It turns out that the sharp-minded genius who meticulously runs the casino, is no more rational than the gamblers who routinely frequent the casino, coming back to lose their money and hoping that the odds will magically shift in their favor.
Robert De Niro plays Sam "Ace" Rothstein, recruited by his childhood friend Nick "Nicky" Santorno to help run the Tangiers casino, which is funded by an investment made with the Teamsters’ pension fund. Ace’s job is to keep the bottom line flowing so that the Mafia's skimming operation can continue seamlessly. De Niro's character felt like half-way between Travis from Taxi Driver (of course, nowhere as mentally disturbed) and half of the addictive excess, greed, and eccentric business-mind of Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.
Ace’s attention to detail gives him a rain-man-esque sensibility; his ability to see every scam, trick, hand signal, and maneuver happening on the casino floor make him the perfect manager of the casino, and take his managerial style to authoritarian heights in his pursuit of order and control over what is an inherently unstable and dynamic scheme; betting, hedging outcomes, and walking the line to keep the money flowing and the gamblers coming back. I’m not claiming Ace is autistic, I'm no clinician, but his managerial sensibilities over the daily operations of the casino, from the dealers to the pit bosses, to the shift managers, are to the point of disturbing precision, he has eyes everywhere, and knows how to remove belligerent customers with class and professionalism, but ultimately is short sighted in “reading” the human beings he is in relationship with. Ace is frustratingly naive and gullible in his partnership with Nicky and the threat he poses to him, and in his marriage with Ginger.
Ace has no personal aspirations to extract millions of dollars for himself out of the casino corruption venture. Ace simply wants the casino to operate as efficiently as possible, and he has no qualms about being a pawn of the bosses. While Sam, “the Golden Jew”—as he is called—is the real CEO of the whole enterprise, directing things at Tangiers for the benefit of the bosses “back home.” Ace’s compliance is juxtaposed with Nicky’s outrage upon feeling used: he gripes about how he is in “the trenches” while the bosses sit back and do nothing. Note that none of the activity Nicky engages in outside of the casino—doing the work of “taking Las Vegas over”—is authorized by the bosses. Ultimately Nicky’s inability to exert control over his crew and the street lead to his demise.
In the end, capitalism, and all that happens in the confines of the casino, is nothing but “organized violence.” Sound familiar? The mob has a capitalist structure in its organization and hierarchy: muscle men collect and send money back to the bosses who do not labor tirelessly “in the trenches.” The labor of the collectors is exploited to create the profits of their bosses. The entire business-model of the Mafia is predicated on usury and debtors defaulting on loans for which the repayment is only guaranteed by the threat of violence. But this dynamic is not without its internal contradictions and tensions, as seen in Casino.
In a comedic turn, the skimmers get skimmed! The bosses begin to notice the thinning of the envelopes and lighter and lighter suitcases being brought from the casino to Kansas City, “back home”. The situation continues to spin out of control, but a mid-tier mafioso articulates the careful balance required for the skimming operation to carry on: to keep the skimming operation functioning, the skimmers need to be kept loyal and happy. It’s a price the bosses have to pay to maintain the operation, “leakage” in their terms. Ace’s efficient management and precision in maintaining order within Tangiers is crucial for the money to keep flowing. But Ace’s control over the casino slips more and more as the movie progresses. We see this as the direct result of Nicky’s ascendance as mob kingpin in Vegas, the chaos he creates cannot be contained and disrupts the profits and delicate dynamics that keep the scam running.
Of course I can’t help myself here! We should view Scorsese’s discography, and the many portrayals of capitalist excess not as celebratory fetishization, but a critique of the greed and violence he so masterfully captures on film. See the Wolf of Wall Street for its tale of money as the most dangerous drug of them all, and the alienation—social and political—showcased in Taxi Driver. Scorsese uses the mob as a foil to the casino to attack the supposed monopoly the casino holds on legitimate, legal economic activity that rests on institutionalized theft. When juxtaposed with the logic of organized crime, we begin to see that the two—Ace and Nick—are not so different after all.
The only dividing line between the casino and organized crime is the law. Vegas is a lawless town yes, “the Wild West” as Nicky puts it, but there are laws in Vegas. The corruption of the political establishment and ruling elites is demonstrated when they pressure Ace to re-hire an incompetent employee who he fired for his complicity in a cheating scam or his stupidity in letting the slot machines get rigged; nepotism breeds mediocrity. In the end, Ace’s fall is the result of the rent-seeking behavior that the Vegas ruling class wields to influence the gaming board to not even permit Ace a fair hearing for his gaming license, which would’ve given him the lawful authority to officially run Tangiers. The elites use the political apparatus of the State to resist the new gang in town, the warring faction of mob-affiliated casino capitalists. While the mob’s only weapon to employ is that of violence. The mafia is still subservient to the powers that be within the political and economic establishment of Vegas, and they’re told “this is not your town.”
I’d like to make the most salient claim of this entire review now. Casino is a western film. The frontier of the Wild West is Vegas in this case, where the disorder of the mob wreaks havoc on, an until then, an “untapped market.” The investment scheme that the Teamsters pension fund is exploited for as seed capital, is an attempt to remain in the confines of the law while extracting as much value as possible through illegal and corrupt means for the capitalist class of the mob (and the ultimately dispensable union president). Tangiers exists in the liminal space of condoned economic activity as a legal and otherwise standard casino. While the violence required to maintain the operation, corrupts the legal legitimacy it never fully enjoyed from the beginning. This mirrors the bounty economy of the West and the out-sourcing of the law and the execution of the law, to bounty hunters. There is no real authority out in the frontier, the killer outlaw on the run is not so different from the bounty hunter who enjoys his livelihood by hunting down the killers. Yet, he himself is not the State. The wide-lens frame of Ace and Nicky meeting in the desert felt like a direct homage to the iconic image of the Western standoff. The conflict between Ace and Nick, the enforcer and the mastermind, is an approximation of the conflicts we might see in John Wayne’s films. The casino venture itself could be seen as an analogy of the frontier-venturism of railroad pioneers going to lay track to develop the West into a more industrial region.
I would have believed that this was a documentary about how the mob took over control of the Vegas casinos in the 1970-80s … if it were not for the viewer being expected to believe that Robert De Niro could play a Jew; it's hard to believe a man with that accent and the roles he’s played his entire career could be a “CRAZY JEW FUCK!!” I kid! But alas, De Niro is a class act and the last of the many greats of a bygone era. At times, it felt like Joe Pesci lacked talent as an actor, but his portrayal of the scummy, backstabbing bastard in Nicky was genuinely remarkable, but I might consider his performance the weak point of the movie. It’s weird to see a man that short, be that much of physical menace. There are a number of Sopranos actors in Casino. I’m sure Vincent Chase watched the movie and said to himself, “bet, i’ll cast half of these guys.”The set design and costumes were gorgeous. The styles and fashion of the time were spectacular. Scorsese’s signature gratuitous violence featured prominently, but tastefully. The camera work, tracking shots through the casino and spatial movement was incredible and I thought the cinematography was outstanding, the Western-esque wide lens in the desert was worthy of being a framed still.
The Nicky//Ace dynamic is excellent and the two play off of each other well. The conflict between the two of them escalates gradually, and then Nicky’s betrayal of Ace by cheating with Ginger marks the final break between the two of them. Nicky’s mob faculties represent a brutal, violent theft that is illegal and requires the enforcement of violence by organized crime. Despite the illegal embezzlement and corruption at play with the “skimming” operation at work at the casino, the general business model of the casino stands in contrast to the obscene violence of the loan sharks. Ace operates an intelligent operation of theft through the casino, and his hands-on management approach is instrumental to the success of the casino. Nicky’s chaos pervades the casino, and the life and activities of “the street” begin to bleed into Ace’s ability to maintain order in the casino. “Connected” types begin frequenting the casino, and Ace unknowingly forces one particularly rude gambler to leave the casino, who happens to have mob ties with Nicky. The “organized violence” of the casino cannot stay intact perfectly, because the very thing holding it together is the presence of the mob. Nicky is in Vegas as the enforcer and tasked with protecting Ace but his independent, entrepreneurial (shall we call them?) aspirations lead him to attempt to overtake what he realizes is a frontier for organized crime to brutalize and exploit the characters of “the street” (pimps, players, addicts, dealers, and prostitutes) and the owners of small private businesses.
Nicky is reckless, “when i plant my flag out here you won’t need your [casino/gaming] license” Nicky thinks he, and Ace, can bypass the regulations and bureaucratic legal measures by sheer force of violence alone. But ultimately Nicky is shortsighted and doesn’t have a real attachment to the success of the casino. After all, he isn’t getting profits from it (or much anyway) and isn’t permitted to play a real, active role in its daily functions because of his belligerent, untamed personality. Nicky has no buy-in that would motivate him to follow the rules or to work within the legal parts of the economy, it’s not the game he knows how to play, and win. All that he is loyal to, or deferent too, is the bosses back home; for whom he maintains absolute, uncompromising loyalty to, but still holds intense spite for.
And now to the more compelling element of the narrative. Sam “Ace” Rothstein is positioned as remarkably intelligent, he makes informed decisions that aid in his skill as a gambler, he can read people to determine whether he’s being conned, he has an attention to detail—aided by the casino’s surveillance apparatus which monitors cheating—that is almost unbelievable. Ace knows when he’s being cheated, he knows how to rig the game so that the house always wins, enacting psychological warfare to break down the confidence of would be proficient gamblers, who could threaten Tangiers’ bottom line. But in the end, the greatest gamble Ace makes is his marriage to Ginger. Ginger is the seductive, charismatic, and flirtatious madame who makes her money with tricks and her sexual power. Ginger works as a prostitute, seducing men, and extracting everything she can, almost as a sort of sexual-financial vampirism.
Ginger is the bad bet Ace can’t stop making even when she destroys his life, her own, and puts their daughter Amy in harm’s way. Ginger is the gamble Ace made wrong, but he keeps going back to her every time, trying to rationalize how she might change and be different the next time. Ace is not a victim to Ginger’s antics. Ginger makes it clear who she is: an addict, alcoholic, manic shopaholic who will use all of her powers to extract everything she can from everyone around her. She uses everyone to her advantage and manipulates men with her sexual power in exchange for their money and protection. Ginger had a price for her hand in marriage: $1 million in cash and $1 million worth of jewelry that are left to her and her alone as a sort of emergency fund.
Ace’s numerous attempts to buy Ginger’s love—and the clear fact that no matter how expensive the fur coat and how grand the mansion, none of it would ever be enough to satisfy her—mirrored Jordan Belfort’s relationship with Naomi in The Wolf of Wall Street. Both relationships carried the same manic volatility and conflict over child custody was found in both films, with the roles reversed in the respective films. Ginger may be irredeemable and a pathological liar, but Ace can’t claim that she wasn’t clear with him; when he asked her to marry him, Ginger said she didn’t love Ace. Ace replied that love could be “developed” but required a foundation of trust to develop. That trust was never there to begin with. The love was doomed from the start to destroy the two of them; two addicts, two gamblers, lying on a daily basis to one another and themselves about reality to justify their respective existences, the marriage, and Ace’s livelihood. And as Ginger pointed out, “I should have never married him. He’s a gemini, a triple gemini … a snake” Maybe astrology has some truth to it after all.
Now I’m not licensed (but hey neither was Ace, and he ran a casino empire!), but Ginger has the inklings of a borderline personality: her manic depression, narcissism, drug and alcohol abuse, and constant begging for forgiveness all seem indications of a larger psychological disorder at play. In the end, Ginger runs away with all the money Ace left her and finds her people in Los Angeles, the pimps, whores, and addicts she fits in with, in turn exploit and kill her for 3 grand in mint coins by giving her a ‘hot’ dose.
Overall, Casino is an incredible cinematic experience. I highly recommend watching this and seeing it as part of Scorsese's anthology of commentary on our economic system and its human victims. I’d argue that Casino, Wolf of Wall Street, and The Irishman all fit together nicely into a trilogy of the Scorsesean history of finance and corruption from the 70s to the 90s.
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EDIT 2: TL;DR —
Casino is a story of sexual and financial intrigue, mob violence, union pension fund embezzlement, a “love” story, and the protagonist's masochist addiction to the pain and chaos his lover inflicts on him. It turns out that the sharp-minded genius who meticulously runs the casino, is no more rational than the gamblers who routinely frequent the casino, coming back to lose their money and hoping that the odds will magically shift in their favor.

I have played this game for 5-6 years and I always knew it was using AI to simulate players but anytime I tried to say this other asshats on this sub said I was full of it and didn’t know what I was talking about. I think those are most likely devs or some miniclip employees who ridicule to attempt to discredit. Say whatever you want but I found an easy way to tell if I’m playing with a person or being cheated by an infallible AI with a recent change of instructions to “tighten” the game much like one would a slot machine. It’s nothing so fallible as having guest names, or anything hinky looking, but rather with the number of Rings from competing in any table, starting with 20 wins to get your first ring of a new table, then each next ring is 21 the next is 22, etc. now how can you play and win 912 games and have only 2 rings to show for it? How can you only have played 100 games and have more than a dozen rings in so many different arenas, and how does a level 14 get the 3 years supply of event cues but not have even played enough games to win 1 or 2 cues from timed events. It doesn’t matter what the name is it can say guestjwozkfjfjrnek1329 or Suzy, it may have a photo or not, you can only really tell that it’s a bot playing if you look at the cues accumulated especially from times exclusive events, and most importantly, count their total number of rings, if you don’t wanna crunch that much, call each ring ~20 wins or 5 per 100 games WON, not played. Look at your own rings and see how they conform, because the math doesn’t lie, they are most definitely using bots, so they likely have all along, but w/e, it’s not even why I’m done with this stupid click pit of futility with bright colors and nice sounds that attempts to trick anyone with predatory techniques such as waiting till clicked to launch ads to catch people unaware, like a casino would. It’s because they do this AND they have just made it harder to win against AI, a recipe for increased $ all while making the game significantly less fun as the bots take insane slop shots with deadeye accuracy. It just isn’t fun anymore, it’s bloated and stupid and the devs are Messing it up entirely, because they’re trying to cheat me out of money, and time, just to be frustrated when your shots suddenly cannot help potting the cue no matter what, and it just whacks the ball and it always goes in somehow somewhere. Screw you miniclip. I hope that someone with the sense to at least check and verify that I am not wrong before you get on here and talk shit about mathematically provable evidence of a company attempting to get fat and rich off dangling a fun FUN Pool physics engine wrapped in hypocrisy and frustration. If you have your parents buying your in app purchases then just STFU now, you get preferential treatment when you pay to play, as in the case of pro membership, and likely have the game pandering to you because you have been pumping in money to this. Totally possible and within the realms of likelihood.
PS fuck the table stickers, cue powers, cue collection boosts, and all the other pay-to-play or pay-to-win crap. This used to be about pool, now I can barely get there without having to lucky shot or golden spin or any other derivative bs

I repost this every year to try to help those spending more than they would like on HUT and to educate newer players on this issue before it becomes a problem. A lot of people do the majority of their spending in the first month or two so it's good to talk about now pretty soon before the next iteration releases.
You can be a whale of a spender, free to play, or anything in between and that's fine as long as you're okay with it and it's not negatively affecting your life. Some people would rather rip packs to improve a team they'll use all year instead of blowing $30 on a night out at a bar or movie or whatever. The other side to that is that I've personally seen people spend over $10,000 in a single year on coin sales and over $800 on a single card. I've seem people sell cards for rent money. The important thing is to honestly assess where you're at, what you want, what this pack will actually get you, and what you're buying.
Facts:

• Your odds of pulling a crazy card are very very low, which is not easily understood when looking at this sub. No one posts their shitty pack contents consistently. As with a casino, LOSING is very quiet! There's no sad sound or flashy lights when your slot machine pulls or pack opens and don't pull something. Think about how many packs are bought and quicksold without generating a post! It's at least 100-1.
• Your odds will SEEM higher than they are, because people post and upvote good pulls which push them to and stick them at the top slots of the sub. WINNING is VERY LOUD! In casinos you hear the bells and dings and see the lights from like three rows over! This tricks your brain into thinking winning is more likely than it is. It's the same on this subreddit.
• This game has a large stake in convincing you to buy packs, EA is a business. This is why they use terms like gold to describe cards where the majority go for quicksell value. They're forced to display odds, so they get around that by having "gold" mean nothing and publishing THOSE odds. That's not transparency, that's minimal legal compliance.
• There's no denying the awesome feeling of pulling something epic out of a pack, it's a huge rush which will cement itself in your brain. You'll either get to see the player you pull daily, or what you trade for daily. This consistent seeing the result from the one time you pulled something good sticks in your brain making winning just seem more likely than it is. If you were to keep a tally of dollars spent vs value received you'd have a better mental frame for packs.
• If you watch big pack opening videos, you can see just how little $100-$1000 in cash or whatever is likely to get you.
• "The last pack I'll buy", or "my team is complete!" is a running joke around here. Even if you pull the best card in the game your team won't be done. Even if you pull the top five cards in the game any day of the year it's the same result.
• That one next card won't make you win even 5% more games. As much as I hate that you can pay for a competitive advantage, the advantage you get isn't enough to create a lot of Ws for you. What percentage of top 20 teams are super duper 1%er stacked?
• The top players often use team's that wouldn't be considered 10/10, or even 6/10 compared to the epic teams you see here weekly. Time is better spent learning to improve and playing more games if the end goal is winning.
• If you pull something big then pulling another card will seem likely, why not buy a pack? If you pull nothing, you're due for a pull, why not buy a pack? You don't have many cues to stop, but there is no "due for a good pack".
• Your brain does not have it easy, which should be clear by now... Is the next pack going to be different?!?

Here's what you can do to frame it correctly in your brain

• Remove your stored credit card from your account. This will force you to type in the numbers if you decide you want a pack. This extra time gives your brain a minute to ponder the decision.
• Better yet you can buy a PSN card BEFORE you start, which has the value you want to spend.
• Best is probably buying coins, then buying packs with those. More bang for your buck and a clear stopping point.
• Keep track of how much you spend as you go through the year. Make yourself write your new purchase on this sheet before you buy, and make yourself view the yearly total. $5 and here and $5 there add up over time but are individually easy to not notice.
• All this content will be GONE in a year or less. On average, even if you sell coins, you're likely to get maybe 5-10% back depending on when you sell.
• If you're having a hard time not getting excited about packs and browse from a full browser, hide pack pull flaired posts.
• If you have a gambling problem, get help. 1-800-522-4700 is the number for the national gambling hotline in the US. Here are some Canadian resources. I've heard of people not making rent but buying packs, and I've heard people blow over $2,000 on packs. This shit can get real, fast.

I think it's important that people understand the realities before buying packs. It's like a raffle/lottery, sure you could win a fancy McDavid (or a smaller prize), but you're way more likely to get something that won't even help your team let alone fit on your team.
If you're determined to get that new player you get a much better return buying coins from a triple checked regular seller (/hutcoinsales). You have to be sure who you're talking to, and that they've been reliable for a very long time, but at least you're paying for more than unrealized hope. I'd say on average in my experience you get at least 3x the value buying coins than you receive on average buying packs. Coins are hard to buy at the beginning of the year though FYI.
Here's a good video about microtransactions and their history, if you feel like being angry today
Upvote it or don't, karma is not the point. Sticky it and downvote the shit out of it. Hope all is well with all of you! If something is outdated let me know, I haven't bought the game this year or for the past few years.

Hello,
I am a gambling addict. I recognized my addiction 10 years ago but didn’t acknowledge it and try to get better until 5 years ago.
After struggling to stay gamble free for 2 years, I finally was able to stop completely with support of family and friends around me. I opened up to them and in return was blessed with love and empathy.
Last week I was 15 days away from 3 years straight gamble free. For business I had to travel to a different state, and there was a casino open near my hotel that my company put me in. I wanted to go in just to see how it felt and prove I was disconnected. This was a mistake.
I sat at a slot and immediately couldn’t help myself. I convinced myself that I needed to play to prove that it wouldn’t feel the same. I know that from an outside perspective this rationalization sounds utterly foolish, but in the moment I tricked my mind to where it made sense.
I put in a $100 bill and hit the max bet for a $20 spin. Nothing. Hit it again, and the feature triggers and goes to the bonus wheel.
The wheel stops. The machine screams and the lights go haywire. I hear people around me clapping. I hit the Mega Jackpot for $163,000.
Now, I was smart enough to take the net winnings after tax and get out of there as fast as I could. Since then I have paid off every dollar of debt I had and I still have a ton of money leftover just sitting in my checking account. My credit report will now show $0 debt. Credit cards and student loans gone.
I’m still in shock. While it’s incredible to be debt free and have some real cash on hand, I feel like I didn’t deserve this and I should’ve been punished, not rewarded. I haven’t gambled since and I am currently 6 days clean after the relapse.
My grandpa, who is super supportive, told me to take it as a blessing from God. He said that I should use it as motivation to “go out a winner” and if I ever feel like gambling again to just remember I’ll never win more than I did this time.
Guys, I’m conflicted emotionally and mentally. I’m afraid of myself and how easily I relapsed after almost 3 years. I’m disappointed and afraid. I keep thinking about what could’ve happened if I didn’t get ridiculously lucky and win the jackpot and if I just kept losing. I would’ve probably played until I lost it all, as I used to until 3 years ago.
I used to say, “one day I’ll hit the jackpot and all my problems will be solved.” What sucks is I had just come to terms with how sick and delusional that sounded when I’d say it. The issue is, it actually happened now, and I’m in the best financial place I’ve ever been. I should feel on top of the world.
I know not to go back. I need to hear from others though. I need advice to help me stay strong and to help me forgive myself. Please.

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It would also help if you download software programs that will enable you to identify which machine is good to play with. It would be better if you do this before you enter the casino. Keep in mind that there are some casinos that require their customers to play their slot games for free spins to determine whether they are interested in playing for real money or not. If you are a casino player who is interested in increasing your chances of hitting real money jackpots, then it would be better if you practice using the free spins in your IDN slot machines.

Do you want to know how to play slot machine online slot machines? You have come to the right place, as this article will give you all the information you need on how to play slot machines online. As the popularity of slot machines is increasing, there are a number of websites that teach the online gamers on how to play slot machines online. These websites will let you know on how to play with slot machines of different variety and also let you try your luck at playing those slot machines online. All that you need is to register with these websites, type in your credit card details and you are ready to start playing!
There are many things that a beginner should know before plunging into online slot games. First of all, it would help if you can figure out what all the symbols stand for in a slot machine game. You can either be an expert player of slot games or you may be a complete beginner but here you too would get a choice for each type of player. If you can choose the slot games for yourself then winning would certainly be your ultimate jam.
Always try to read up on your mistakes or past mistakes: some online slot machines games are very complex and so are the icons in them. You should always refer to the instructions and guides that are provided over the website so that you don't end up losing your hard earned money. Playing online slot machines would certainly help you become better at playing this casino game. So, never go against the online slot machine guides, follow the exact slot machine guides that have been printed over the web so that your gaming experience becomes a success.
Before you play a slot machine, you should know whether it is a progressive slot machine or not. If you want to win big, then you must ensure that you play the progressive slot machines because you will be paid real cash once you hit the jackpot. In case you play the non-progressive slots then you will be paying your points, coins or bills in the form of credits, debit or withdrawal. If you want to be successful in playing slot machines then you should be able to know how to identify which kind of slot machine is good to play with and which one isn't.
One trick that a professional player of slot machine games would usually use is to play at different machines in different casinos. You should try to find out which machine is the strongest and in which casino slot machines you will be performing the highest quality of play. You can even go in for a second opinion on this by visiting some other casinos that have slots; see which ones the pros frequent the most and then make your move accordingly.
Do not fall prey to online slot machine games by just downloading any number of slot machine games from the Internet. There are many types of cheats and glitches that can be used by players to increase their winning limit and sometimes even to get ahead in the race. Some of these cheats work so well that they can even fool the casino's security measures; hence you should take extreme caution before opting for using them. You can also get information about slot machines through the online slot machine guides. They will provide you with detailed information on where to play and how much you need to bet to actually win jackpots or anything else.

Completely random prompt that I came up with for no reason except that I was bored and just watched a gambling anime. Here we go.
Semi-official prerequisites before you read on:
-Because this particular one is somewhat specific, being it's at a casino, you'll need a character that likes gambling (or just does whatever at casinos).
-Said character should (meaning 'does not need to') have a habit of cheating in casino games. Whether they're good or bad at cheating does not matter.
Okay, that's done, here we go.
You have decided to go out for the night at the local Aurum Casino. This casino chain is the largest of its kind in the Imperial Federation, with hundreds of properties across the galaxy. You arrive at the biggest branch, the one in the capital city of Anthos, excited to try your luck at the thousands of slot machines, gambling games, pool tables, arcade games, and more of what you'd find in a casino. In the Federation, most wealthier individuals play against each other in the popular game of poker, often betting billions while doing so. Tonight, the casino floor is particularly crammed with (still armed) soldiers celebrating another victorious battle, plenty of notorious gangsters (probably invited by Gold), and a lot of other influential people. You sit down at a poker table, and look at your three opponents.
The one next to you is Gold, the owner of the Aurum Casino chain, and nicknamed 'Casino Master' for his uncanny ability to remain virtually undefeated in every casino game. You remember him, don't ya? Kingpin, right hand man of Death, etc. See previous posts for more info on him. He's a legend at all sorts of casino games, pool, poker, blackjack, he's mastered the whole thing, despite having only the fifth highest IQ in the Elite Guard (and the whole Imperial Federation), at 209.
The second is Blake, who, despite being the Military Police Director (and thus Gold's natural arch-nemesis), still spends quite a bit of time at casinos trying (and failing) to beat Gold. Frequently loses millions of credits to Gold. IQ: 223, third highest IQ in the Imperial Federation.
The last is Intelligence Director Ruby, who, with an IQ of 233 (highest in the whole Federation), would be the so-called 'Casino Master' (thus taking Gold's spot) if it weren't for the fact that he prefers spending hours in his workshop and only comes to the casino when Gold (literally) drags him over. Doesn't mean he's dumb at card games, though.
You begin to reconsider playing against three of the smartest people in this country, but, thanks to your expertise, it's not much of an issue. You all throw in your bets, you betting a few million. You watch in astounded confusion as the others casually bet a few billion dollars, with Gold literally taking off one of his (various) exquisite rings and betting it. Here and there you pull a little trick, occasionally getting a glare from one of the other three. After Gold wins in a smashing victory (and Blake groans as he loses yet another few million), Ruby stands up, whispers a few things to Gold, and leaves without another word. After Blake follows Ruby out the door, Gold turns to you, with a smug look on his face.
And loudly proclaims, "Man, you must cheat a lot. And in front of me, no less!"
At which the crowd of people mingling on the casino floor falls silent and turns to stare at you.
Within this crowd are several of Gold's top henchmen, at least thirty Specialist Corps troopers (just think berserkers), a few mercenaries, and plenty of other people who aren't pleased to find you cheated in a game against Gold. You suddenly remember what happens to cheaters in the Aurum Casino.
What is your next move?

The subject of auto-farming comes up once or twice a week in this Reddit and every time it is greeted by the exact same two people:

• Person 1 makes the argument that they do not have the time to invest as heavily into the game, therefore the less that they are able to look at their phone, the more productive they feel they would be in other aspects of the game such as PvP content. They make the argument that many people quit because of a lack of auto-farming.
• Person 2 makes the argument that auto-farming is detrimental to the health of the game and will result in less engagement, therefore more players quitting. Less time spent actively engaged with the game coupled with a quicker depletion of crystals will result in less overall phone time spent on the game.

Both Person 1 and Person 2 are correct, and have valid points to make. However what we rarely talk about are the plain and simple facts that we don't like to acknowledge when we are playing a game, especially one with the Freemium model that so many mobile games have today.

• Com2Us is a business, first and foremost
• Com2Us will make decisions based on maximizing revenue
• Com2Us, despite poor customer service and the general perception of not caring about their player base, did not earn 2 billion dollars in revenue by sitting around with their thumb stuck up their ass

So let's break down the arguments made by both Person 1 and Person 2. Instead of analyzing these from our feelings based on our personal relationship with Summoners War, we are going to instead analyze these from the perspective of a game developer and a business owner. But before we do this, we need to recognize Summoners War for the game that it is, rather than the game we expect it to be.
-
The Freemium Game Model, the Sunk Cost Fallacy, Skinner Box Mechanics, and the Feeling Of Getting What What We're Owed.
-
The Freemium Game
A quick Google search tells you what a Freemium game is better than most could summarize. "The freemium model offers users the core product — the game — for free and then optionally charges them for premium content such as in-game currency, extra content, or customizations." We are all aware of this and separate ourselves into different factions based on this accordingly - Free To Play players and Pay To Win players (F2P+P2W respectively.) What's interesting about these two factions is how they can so vastly differentiate themselves and the gymnastics we do to convince ourselves what faction it is that we belong to.
By definition, a F2P player will have spent $0 on this game. A P2W player will have spent at minimum $1 to play this game. How many times have you read someone say "F2P btw.. But I only get the $5 package to keep my account secure". If a player has purchased $5 every 15 days from this game for a period of 5 years, this equals roughly $600 spent on this game. Does that sound F2P to you?
Another very common argument is that you are not a P2W player if you only buy certain packs. The transcendence pack every Christmas, that's it. A 750 crystal pack when you were off sick from work and wanted to spend the day farming. Does this sound like F2P to you?
The point I am trying to make within the Freemium Game Model is that we are all capable of making mental gymnastics work in our favor of convincing ourselves that we view this game differently than how we actually play it. Which is a perfect time to talk about the way that mobile game developers and businesses such as Com2Us manipulate our trains of thought using extremely common tactics used in every business from getting ourselves a Starbucks coffee in the morning, to walking into a casino and dropping $1,000 at the slot machine.
-
The Sunk Cost Fallacy
-
Individuals commit the sunk cost fallacy when they continue a behavior or endeavor as a result of previously invested resources (time, money or effort)
Does this sound familiar? To put it plainly; the more time and money you put into something, the more you feel it owes you. For this point, I like to liken hitting the replay button in the dungeons akin to pulling the lever of a casino slot machine. You sit down at the machine, pull the lever, watch the lights go by. You either get a payout (rare), you get something meager not worth the value of your pull ($1 back on a $5 pull for example), or you get nothing. This is exactly what we are doing with the dungeons. We are pulling the lever (the replay button) and hoping for a big payout (a legendary rune) and scoffing at the meager payouts we deem invaluable (runes that we need to sell) or get frustrated that we receive nothing (unknown scrolls)
The only difference is that a slot machine can pay you out nothing, however a dungeon run cannot. So unknown scrolls and rune craft stones are put in their place to simulate the mechanics of a slot machine adapted for a mobile game.
Now that we've likened dungeon runs to the slot machine, I'd like you to consider how you may behave sitting behind a slot machine. Do you walk from one slot machine to the other and try your luck at different ones over and over? Likely not. You are more likely to sit at the same slot machine and pull the same lever because you have invested your time, resources and money into this slot machine already. This tricks our brains into thinking that the machine is more likely to pay out to us when in fact your odds would be just as good sitting at any other machine. The longer we sit at this machine without a payout, the more frustrated we get, and the harder it is to move away from it. So you keep trying, over and over.
"The effect becomes a fallacy if it's pushing you to do things that are making you unhappy or worse off. "
Sound familiar?
But hold on, Person 2, because this isn't just proving your point. It is also diminishing the main argument that you pose stating that the health of a game is directly tied to whether or not auto-farming exists on that platform, and cite other games that feature auto-farming to have died. Person 1, you likely have heard Person 2 claim that Com2Us has had other games that feature auto-farming die off despite being exact replicas of Summoners War. And why is that? Well, you can blame the Sunk Cost Fallacy for that as well.
Imagine walking into the casino and you begin to make your way over to the slot machine you have been pulling for the past five years. But wait, there's a BRAND NEW, shiny, sparkly, up to date, modernized slot machine sitting dead center in the middle of the casino. It pulls for you! It has better graphics! It has a drink dispenser! It appears to be better in every single way!
.. Good luck pulling everyone off of the slot machine they have spent the last five years pulling, never having quite obtained the payout they were hoping for. This is the manipulation that game developers like Com2Us have over us and that they are well aware of. "Oh, you want to go try something new? lol you'll be back. You've spent too much time here to leave now."
The Sunk Cost Fallacy works both ways. On one hand, it's unfair that one demographic doesn't feel that they get something they perceive as a QoL update that would enhance their experience. On the other hand, the other demographic can't really use it as too strong a basis for their arguments either based on the fact we've ALL sunk time into Summoners War. Other games didn't necessarily die because they didn't have auto-farming - it's just as likely they died due to not being able to pry enough people off their slot machine of choice.
Summoners War is one of the longest running and most successful mobile games in existence. It hasn't survived through dumb luck. It survived because it knew how our minds worked, it exploited that, and now they've got us in their clutches - just like casinos do to the millions of people on this planet who suffer from gambling addictions.
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Skinner Box Mechanics - Why Our Brains Suck, and the Chemical Reason Com2Us Won't Implement Auto-Farm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWtvrPTbQ_c
I won't outline the whole history of Skinner Box Mechanics, but I'll summarize as best as I can

• Researchers found that they could condition animals based on having pigeons peck at a button inside of a box. Each time they pecked the button, they would receive food, or, a reward
• Researchers found that this conditioning, called Operant Conditioning, could work on humans
• Researchers found that simply rewarding someone every time they perform an action, is not the best way to get someone to continually do that action. If you provide a reward to the person a random number of times or every number of minutes, these methods are far more effective at getting someone to repeat an action.
• Researchers know that we are well aware of this, and we keep doing it anyway.

I can't say much more on this topic because it is completely black and white.
We are not getting auto-farming because Com2Us is aware that the more they can get us to press a button and reward us some of the time is far more effective than giving us the ability to farm 10x the amount with 10x less effort. It is not a matter of how we think we might feel. It is a matter of how our brains are wired to feel.
-
In summary:
Giving us the ability to auto-farm would be completely counter-productive to Com2Us' business model, their bottom line, and the science behind the Sunk Cost Fallacy as well as Skinner Box Mechanics. Our brains are wired to press the replay button over and over, even when we don't feel like doing it, for the chance at a reward that we don't know will ever appear. Com2Us exploits this, just as casino owners exploit this of their gamblers.
Person 1 and Person 2 both have good points to make about having and not having auto-farming. The unfortunate reality is that it doesn't matter what Person 1 or Person 2 thinks, because neither of these have a basis in the conversation as to why Com2Us operates the way that it does. Com2Us will make their business decisions on what will generate the most revenue, not what will affect one majority of the player base over the other - Com2Us would rather have 1,000 players spending $20,000 a year, than have 100,000 players spending $20 a year.
It is up to the individual to be aware of these mechanics and choose accordingly if you are able to view the game for what it is and if you would like to continue playing. If you are living under the illusion that they might implement full auto-farming one day and keep pressing replay because you hope it will come to fruition, I hope this has helped you understand why it is not coming and can help you decide accordingly if this game is harmful to you, or a fun part of your daily routine.
​
***EDIT***
Yes I saw the most recent developer note. Welp.

The Agen Joker123 slot machine is one of those slot machines that is almost impossible to tell from a regular slot. It is one of those unique types of online slots that have in fact gotten very popular over the past few years. However, when you first lay your eyes on it, you may not be able to figure out which is the real thing and which is a fake. But before you worry too much about whether or not you will actually win, you should take a look at the design of the machine. Here are some things you should check.
The most common way that people confuse the Agen Jokers with other slot machines is by not realizing that the face of the machine is also different. On many of the other slot machines, the color of the light that glows from the center of the screen is the same as the color that appears on the slot machine's icon. This is because this particular slot's icon is the standard black square light. In addition to the color being different, the shape of the light is also different. Most models have a roundish design, while some have a more pronounced tip.
If you notice the tip on the Agen Jokers is not shaped like most of the slot machine icons, it is possible that it is not the real thing. The light that glows from the center is usually green in color. It has been determined by many that the light's tip must be bent on the sides as it would not appear straight when projected onto a flat surface. Another thing to consider is the speed of the light. If the light speeds up significantly, it is likely that it is not the real thing, and that you will win the jackpot on the real slot machine instead.
While there are many different theories on the origin of the design, it is mostly believed that the roundish tip was inserted so that it could be used to trick the user. As the bright light shines upon the symbols on the screen, it causes the joker to flash his teeth. Many claim that this was done to keep the casino personnel from noticing that a new slot machine had just appeared in the area. Even though there are many theories on the original design, one of the most commonly known today is that the tip of the Agen Jokers light is circular.
If you have played the original Agen Jokers slot machine, then you know how easily it slips into the slot. Even with the heavy wooden shoring over the front of the machine, it still slides in effortlessly. Today, a lot of slot players claim that this is the best design for a slot machine. They say that it is impossible for the light to miss and since the slot players know this, they can eliminate the possibility that they may win something without their knowledge.
If you want to play the original Agen Jokers slot machine, then you need to change out the coins on the reels every three spins. You can also change the colors if you want to. This is not the case with the newer models. Many claim that when you use the newer machines, then the color of the light does not matter. In fact, they say that since it is still programmed to the same frequency as the original slot machine, the colors do not matter at all.

List of Nintendo Switch games that went on sale in the last week on eShop:

You can order the list by Metacritic, Price, Discount...etc..

Title	Price	% Off	End Date	Metacritic
#KILLALLZOMBIES	$11.99	40%	11/5	-
88 Heroes - 98 Heroes Edition	$5.99	80%	11/1	65
1979 Revolution: Black Friday	$3.59	70%	11/4	77
AER Memories of Old	$4.99	75%	11/11	73
Aery - Little Bird Adventure	$3.98	43%	11/11	-
AFL Evolution 2	$42.49	15%	10/27	-
Agent A: A puzzle in disguise	$$1.99	90%	11/13	79
Alder's Blood	$9.99	50%	11/6	74
Alien: Isolation	$$19.99	43%	11/3	83
Alien Cruise	$3.60	68%	11/1	-
A Magical High School Girl	$1.99	87%	10/26	-
Anima: Gate of Memories - Arcane Edition	$10.49	65%	11/1	-
Anima: Gate of Memories - The Nameless Chronicles	$6.99	65%	11/1	-
Anima: Gate of Memories	$6.99	65%	11/1	61
ANIMUS: Harbinger	$3.99	50%	11/9	69
ANIMUS	$3.99	50%	11/9	-
Anthill	$3.99	60%	11/1	65
Archaica: The Path Of Light	$4.94	67%	11/2	-
Assassin's Creed III: Remastered	$19.99	50%	11/1	60
Assassin’s Creed: The Rebel Collection	$19.99	50%	11/1	80
Atomic Heist	$1.99	75%	10/27	-
Awe	$1.99	60%	11/1	-
A Winter's Daydream	$2.99	50%	11/5	-
Bargain Hunter	$8.74	30%	11/1	-
Battle Princess Madelyn Royal Edition	$3.74	75%	11/9	-
Battle Princess Madelyn	$4.99	75%	11/9	65
Beat Cop	$3.49	77%	10/31	70
Bibi & Tina at the horse farm	$20.99	30%	11/5	-
Bibi & Tina – Adventures with Horses	$20.99	30%	11/5	-
Bibi Blocksberg – Big Broom Race 3	$20.99	30%	11/5	-
Birds and Blocks	$1.99	60%	11/10	-
Blacksad: Under the Skin	$19.99	60%	10/28	60
Blair Witch	$14.99	50%	11/5	59
Bleed 2	$3.74	75%	11/4	79
Bleed	$2.99	75%	11/4	75
Bloodroots	$$1.99	90%	11/2	75
Blood Waves	$4.99	50%	11/5	-
Breathing Fear	$$1.99	60%	11/2	-
Bridge Strike	$$2.09	70%	11/10	-
BringIt to MOM	$1.99	90%	11/1	-
Bubble Cats Rescue	$1.59	60%	11/9	-
Bulb Boy	$2.24	75%	11/5	75
Bullet Battle: Evolution	$7.49	50%	11/9	-
Bunny Adventure	$1.80	70%	11/5	-
Cake Laboratory	$1.99	33%	11/11	-
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger	$11.99	40%	11/3	72
Captain StarONE	$4.99	50%	10/30	-
Card Game Bundle Vol. 1	$3.59	85%	11/4	-
Car Driving School Simulator	$$8.99	36%	11/6	-
Caretaker	$4.79	40%	10/31	-
Cars 3: Driven to Win	$9.99	75%	11/2	59
Chaos on Deponia	$4.99	75%	11/11	-
Child of Light Ultimate Edition	$4.99	75%	11/1	84
Children of Morta	$12.99	41%	10/31	80
Circle of Sumo	$4.99	50%	10/26	53
City Driving Simulator	$$5.99	50%	11/6	-
Clouds & Sheep 2	$2.49	75%	10/29	-
Clumsy Rush	$2.99	40%	8 hours	-
Color Zen Kids	$3.19	20%	11/9	-
Conduct TOGETHER!	$$1.99	90%	11/13	80
Conga Master Party!	$1.99	80%	11/1	71
Cooking Tycoons - 3 in 1 Bundle	$6.49	50%	11/9	-
Crawl	$4.99	67%	11/4	82
Creepy Brawlers	$1.99	60%	11/5	-
Crown Trick	$17.99	10%	8 hours	79
Crypt of the NecroDancer: Nintendo Switch Edition	$3.99	80%	11/11	86
Cube Creator X	$9.99	50%	11/11	-
Curious Cases	$3.99	20%	10/31	-
Curious Expedition	$10.04	33%	11/1	68
Cyber Protocol	$1.99	80%	8 hours	71
Cycle 28	$2.09	70%	10/29	69
Dark Burial	$1.99	50%	10/27	-
Darksiders Genesis	$26.79	33%	11/5	74
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition	$14.99	50%	11/5	77
Darksiders Warmastered Edition	$14.99	50%	11/5	77
Dead Dungeon	$1.99	60%	10/27	64
Dead Synchronicity: Tomorrow Comes Today	$3.89	74%	11/1	72
Death Road to Canada	$7.49	50%	11/4	79
Death Squared	$2.99	80%	11/6	78
Debtor	$$1.99	33%	11/2	-
Decay of Logos	$9.99	50%	11/1	58
Demon's Crystals	$4.94	67%	11/1	-
DEMON'S TILT	$11.99	40%	11/1	-
Deployment	$0.99	90%	10/25	-
Deponia Doomsday	$4.99	75%	11/11	-
Deponia	$3.99	90%	11/11	64
Detective Driver: Miami Files	$4.79	60%	11/6	-
Doggie Ninja The Burning Strikers	$5.00	38%	11/6	-
Doggie Ninja The Golden Mission	$2.00	75%	11/6	-
Don't Die, Mr Robot!	$2.24	75%	11/4	72
Don't Starve: Nintendo Switch Edition	$4.99	75%	11/2	78
DragonFangZ - The Rose & Dungeon of Time	$12.49	50%	11/6	66
DreamGallery	$2.99	50%	11/6	-
Drift Legends	$4.99	50%	11/11	-
Drowning	$1.49	50%	11/5	-
eCrossminton	$7.94	47%	11/1	-
Edna & Harvey: Harvey's New Eyes	$6.99	65%	11/11	-
Edna & Harvey: The Breakout – Anniversary Edition	$6.99	65%	11/11	66
Eight-Minute Empire: Complete Edition	$7.49	50%	10/27	-
Elden: Path of the Forgotten	$10.39	35%	11/5	63
Escape First	$3.99	20%	10/31	-
Event Horizon: Space Defense	$$2.09	70%	11/2	-
Fantasy Tower Defense	$2.49	50%	32 hours	-
Farabel	$1.99	80%	10/26	-
fault - milestone one	$8.99	40%	10/26	-
Felix The Reaper	$2.49	90%	11/11	67
Fight Crab	$16.99	15%	17 hours	70
FLIP OVER FROG	$0.99	87%	11/10	-
Flipping Death	$3.99	80%	11/1	83
Freaky Awesome	$3.89	70%	11/1	-
FunBox Party	$$1.99	20%	11/3	-
Galaxy Champions TV	$1.29	82%	11/2	65
Gas Station: Highway Services	$$5.99	50%	11/6	-
Gem Smashers	$6.99	30%	11/5	-
GIGA WRECKER ALT.	$12.49	50%	11/1	67
Ginger: Beyond the Crystal	$4.99	75%	11/1	-
Glass Masquerade 2: Illusions	$5.99	50%	11/4	-
Glass Masquerade	$2.99	75%	11/4	-
Goodbye Deponia	$4.99	75%	11/11	77
Goonya Fighter	$0.99	96%	11/10	74
Gothic Murder: Adventure That Changes Destiny	$9.59	20%	10/29	-
Grand Prix Rock 'N Racing	$2.99	70%	11/8	-
Grimshade	$18.74	25%	11/4	-
Gunman Clive HD Collection	$1.99	50%	11/5	-
Hacky Zack	$2.49	75%	11/4	-
Heart&Slash	$4.94	67%	11/1	63
Hello Kitty Kruisers With Sanrio Friends	$20.96	30%	11/1	51
Hexa Maze	$13.99	30%	11/5	-
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!	$4.49	70%	11/1	70
Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?!	$4.49	70%	11/1	-
Holy Potatoes! What The Hell?!	$10.50	30%	11/1	-
Hypnospace Outlaw	$14.99	25%	11/5	84
I, Zombie	$1.99	60%	11/6	64
Indie Darling Bundle Vol 2	$5.24	85%	11/4	-
Indie Puzzle Bundle Vol 1	$5.99	85%	11/4	-
INK	$2.24	75%	11/4	68
Invisible, Inc. Nintendo Switch Edition	$14.99	25%	11/2	-
Isoland 2 - Ashes of Time	$2.50	31%	11/1	-
Istanbul: Digital Edition	$9.99	50%	10/27	-
It's Spring Again	$0.99	50%	11/5	-
Jenny LeClue - Detectivu	$$2.99	88%	11/9	-
Jeopardy!	$7.99	60%	11/1	-
Jurassic Pinball	$2.00	33%	11/8	-
Just Dance 2020	$19.99	50%	11/1	74
Kakurasu World	$0.99	67%	11/5	-
Kawaii Deathu Desu	$3.49	30%	11/12	-
Kingdom: New Lands	$2.99	80%	11/3	74
Layers of Fear: Legacy	$3.99	80%	11/5	80
LEGO CITY Undercover	$8.99	70%	11/2	78
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition	$22.49	70%	11/2	-
LEGO DC Super-Villains	$17.99	70%	11/2	75
LEGO Harry Potter Collection	$12.49	75%	11/2	73
LEGO Jurassic World	$11.99	70%	11/2	71
LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2	$8.99	70%	11/2	76
LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game	$12.49	75%	11/2	66
LEGO The Incredibles	$17.99	70%	11/2	65
LEGO Worlds	$8.99	70%	11/2	59
Leopoldo Manquiseil	$1.99	50%	11/1	-
Little Triangle	$6.75	55%	11/1	74
Lonely Mountains: Downhill	$14.99	25%	11/5	84
Lost Artifacts: Time Machine	$3.99	60%	11/5	-
Lovecraft´s Untold Stories	$6.89	54%	11/1	-
Lydia	$$2.00	50%	11/7	73
Mad Carnage	$0.29	94%	10/26	46
Marblelous Animals	$1.99	60%	11/1	-
Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle	$14.99	75%	11/1	85
Mark of the Ninja: Remastered	$4.99	75%	11/2	89
MazezaM - Puzzle Game	$4.12	25%	11/1	-
Mecho Tales	$0.09	91%	11/11	43
Mecho Wars: Desert Ashes	$0.65	93%	11/11	-
Mech Rage	$$1.99	80%	11/2	-
Mechstermination Force	$2.39	80%	11/5	79
Mega Man 11	$14.99	50%	10/30	80
Mega Man Legacy Collection 2	$9.99	50%	10/30	77
Mega Man Legacy Collection	$10.04	33%	10/30	83
Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2	$9.99	50%	10/30	60
Mega Man X Legacy Collection	$9.99	50%	10/30	84
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection	$22.49	25%	10/30	83
MONOPOLY	$9.99	75%	11/1	53
Monster Dynamite	$13.99	30%	11/5	-
Monster Energy Supercross - The Official Videogame 3	$19.99	60%	11/5	67
Monster Loves You	$1.99	80%	11/5	-
Moonlighter	$8.49	66%	10/31	83
Mortal Kombat 11	$19.99	60%	11/2	78
MotoGP20	$19.99	50%	11/5	-
Moto Rush GT	$0.99	93%	11/9	74
Mushroom Quest	$0.29	90%	10/26	-
My Girlfriend is a Mermaid!?	$2.49	90%	10/26	-
My Universe - My Baby	$20.99	30%	10/28	-
Neon City Riders	$13.99	30%	11/3	61
Nerdook Bundle Vol. 1	$4.49	85%	11/4	-
Neverout	$1.99	73%	11/3	62
Nightmare Boy	$1.99	80%	11/1	61
Ninja Shodown	$2.99	80%	11/1	61
Nirvana Pilot Yume	$2.99	40%	8 hours	-
NORTH	$1.49	50%	11/5	66
Null Drifter	$2.49	50%	11/12	-
Nullum	$1.39	30%	11/10	-
Observer	$8.99	70%	11/5	75
Offroad Racing - Buggy X ATV X Moto	$9.99	50%	10/28	-
Omega Strike	$3.74	75%	11/4	-
OMG Police - Car Chase TV Simulator	$1.99	60%	8 hours	-
One Person Story	$2.00	33%	10/27	66
Oniken: Unstoppable Edition & Odallus: The Dark Call Bundle	$4.99	75%	11/4	-
OTTTD: Over The Top Tower Defense	$0.99	88%	11/1	55
Panda Hero	$7.49	50%	11/5	-
Paranautical Activity	$2.39	70%	11/4	-
Parking Madness	$1.80	70%	11/5	-
Party Crashers	$$1.99	87%	11/12	-
Party Golf	$$1.99	87%	11/12	74
Party Planet	$2.99	85%	11/1	46
Pato Box	$4.49	70%	11/3	74
Perfect Traffic Simulator	$1.99	80%	8 hours	-
Pet Shop Snacks	$0.49	90%	11/9	-
Pipe Push Paradise	$2.74	75%	11/4	-
Pixel Action Heroes	$3.99	20%	11/9	69
Plague Road	$0.99	93%	11/11	-
PLOID SAGA	$2.39	80%	11/6	-
Polandball: Can Into Space	$2.24	25%	10/28	-
Poopdie - Chapter One	$3.35	33%	11/5	-
Project Starship	$2.49	50%	11/12	-
Purrs In Heaven	$2.44	65%	11/5	-
Queen's Quest 3: The End of Dawn	$1.49	90%	11/9	-
Quest for the Golden Duck	$1.99	80%	11/2	-
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition	$7.49	75%	10/29	62
Rain City	$4.45	41%	11/1	-
Rayman Legends Definitive Edition	$9.99	75%	11/1	84
Red's Kingdom	$2.99	70%	11/1	66
Red Death	$2.49	50%	11/12	-
Rest in Pieces	$1.99	75%	11/7	67
Restless Hero	$3.49	50%	10/29	-
Rhythm of the Gods	$2.24	75%	10/26	-
RICO	$9.99	50%	11/1	70
Rift Keeper	$4.99	50%	11/5	-
RISK Global Domination	$9.99	50%	11/1	-
RIVE: Ultimate Edition	$1.99	87%	11/5	82
Riverbond	$7.49	70%	11/2	60
Robox	$1.99	80%	11/5	-
Rock 'N Racing Off Road DX	$2.99	70%	11/8	-
Rogue Bit	$2.49	50%	11/2	-
Rollin' Eggz	$1.99	33%	11/11	-
Rooms: The Adventure of Anne & George	$5.90	61%	11/1	-
Rune Factory 4 Special	$29.99	25%	10/29	81
Scribblenauts Mega Pack	$9.99	75%	11/2	76
Scribblenauts Showdown	$9.99	75%	11/2	47
Sea Salt	$9.89	34%	11/2	-
Shift Happens	$2.99	80%	11/11	-
Shikhondo - Soul Eater	$4.19	70%	11/4	53
Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment	$6.99	30%	11/1	84
Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove	$27.99	30%	11/1	91
Sigi - A Fart for Melusina	$2.49	50%	11/5	52
Silence	$3.99	90%	11/11	75
Skelly Selest & Straimium Immortaly Double Pack	$5.99	70%	11/4	-
Skull Rogue	$$1.99	33%	11/3	-
Sky Racket	$3.74	75%	17 hours	72
Sky Ride	$0.99	86%	11/10	-
Slots of Poker at Aces Casino	$3.99	50%	11/1	-
Solitaire Deluxe Bundle - 3 in 1	$2.99	80%	11/9	-
Soul Searching	$$3.99	60%	11/7	66
South Park: The Fractured but Whole - Standard Edition	$14.99	75%	11/1	80
South Park: The Stick of Truth	$11.99	60%	11/1	82
Spectrum	$2.39	80%	11/4	-
Speed 3: Grand Prix	$35.99	10%	11/10	-
Speed Dating for Ghosts	$2.09	70%	11/1	-
Speedway Racing	$$4.99	50%	11/12	-
Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy	$14.99	50%	11/5	61
Spirit Roots	$1.98	72%	11/2	-
Spooky Ghosts Dot Com	$$2.49	50%	11/2	-
Starlink: Battle for Atlas Digital Edition	$14.99	75%	11/1	-
Starman	$0.99	89%	11/11	-
State of Mind	$3.99	90%	11/11	63
SteamWorld Dig 2	$7.99	60%	11/1	88
SteamWorld Dig	$2.49	75%	11/1	75
SteamWorld Heist: Ultimate Edition	$4.99	75%	11/1	91
SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech	$12.49	50%	11/1	81
Stellar Interface	$1.99	85%	11/1	-
STELLATUM	$7.49	50%	11/5	-
Stick It to The Man	$2.39	80%	11/1	74
Stones of the Revenant	$$4.99	50%	11/6	-
Storm In A Teacup	$2.09	30%	11/1	-
STORY OF SEASONS: Friends of Mineral Town	$34.99	30%	10/29	77
Streets of Red - Devil's Dare Deluxe	$5.99	40%	11/1	79
SubaraCity	$2.50	50%	10/30	62
Sunless Sea: Zubmariner Edition	$12.99	35%	11/4	73
Super Arcade Soccer	$2.09	70%	11/8	-
Super Chariot	$1.49	90%	11/4	76
Supermarket Shriek	$$17.99	10%	11/6	-
SuperMash	$1.99	90%	11/4	51
Super One More Jump	$0.98	86%	11/1	81
Super Punch Patrol	$4.49	10%	11/5	75
Super Street: Racer	$17.49	56%	11/1	66
Swap This!	$1.99	60%	11/5	59
Sweet Witches	$$1.99	80%	11/2	-
Swordbreaker The Game	$$1.99	60%	11/2	-
Swords & Soldiers	$1.99	73%	11/5	72
Syberia 2	$1.49	95%	11/4	68
Syberia 3	$9.99	80%	11/4	-
Syberia	$4.90	67%	11/4	76
Tactical Mind	$$1.99	33%	11/3	54
Tamashii	$5.99	50%	11/4	-
Tangle Tower	$13.99	30%	10/25	85
The Adventures of Elena Temple: Definitive Edition	$1.99	60%	11/11	-
The Aquatic Adventure of the Last Human	$3.89	70%	11/4	72
The Bunker	$6.49	50%	11/5	60
The Experiment: Escape Room	$3.19	20%	10/31	-
The Great Perhaps	$4.99	50%	11/2	-
The Last Campfire	$11.99	20%	10/26	81
The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame	$11.99	70%	11/2	56
The Long Journey Home	$5.99	80%	11/11	58
Them Bombs!	$9.79	30%	11/8	-
Theme Park Simulator: Roller Coaster & Thrill Rides	$7.94	47%	11/1	-
The Mooseman	$3.49	50%	11/5	70
The Office Quest	$3.59	70%	11/5	-
The Outer Worlds	$47.99	20%	10/30	66
The Raven Remastered	$14.99	50%	11/5	74
The Tower of Beatrice	$2.99	50%	11/5	-
They Breathe	$2.67	33%	11/5	-
Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition	$2.24	75%	11/4	59
Time Tenshi	$10.49	30%	11/1	-
Toki Tori 2+: Nintendo Switch Edition	$1.99	87%	11/5	84
Toki Tori	$1.99	60%	11/5	82
Toki	$2.95	80%	10/28	66
Tower Climb	$1.80	70%	11/5	-
Tower Of Time	$16.23	35%	11/4	-
Towertale	$1.99	80%	11/5	-
Trailblazers	$5.99	80%	11/1	62
Treasure Stack	$3.99	80%	10/31	52
Trials Rising	$5.99	70%	11/1	78
TRIVIAL PURSUIT Live!	$9.99	50%	11/1	61
Truck Driving Simulator	$$8.99	25%	11/13	-
Twister Road	$$0.99	80%	11/8	-
Ubongo	$9.09	35%	10/26	-
Ultimate Runner	$13.99	30%	11/5	-
Uncanny Valley	$2.49	75%	11/4	-
Underhero	$10.18	40%	11/4	86
UNO	$3.99	60%	11/1	69
Unrailed!	$14.99	25%	11/12	69
Up Cliff Drive	$1.80	70%	11/5	-
Urban Flow Extended Edition	$$6.79	60%	11/13	-
Valfaris & Slain Double Pack	$13.99	65%	11/4	-
Valiant Hearts: The Great War	$4.99	75%	11/1	77
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York	$11.69	10%	10/29	65
Vertical Drop Heroes HD	$2.49	75%	11/4	-
Viviette	$6.99	30%	11/5	58
War Theatre	$0.65	93%	11/11	-
WeakWood Throne	$$2.99	40%	11/13	-
Wheel of Fortune	$7.99	60%	11/1	-
Wide Ocean Big Jacket	$3.19	60%	11/1	79
Willy Jetman: Astromonkey's Revenge	$6.89	54%	11/1	75
Windmill Kings	$1.99	80%	11/2	-
WordHerd	$1.99	67%	10/25	-
World Soccer Pinball	$2.00	33%	11/8	-
World Tree Marché	$5.99	50%	10/30	-
Wuppo: Definitive Edition	$4.99	67%	10/29	-
Wurroom	$0.99	50%	11/5	-
WWE 2K Battlegrounds	$29.99	25%	10/29	56
Zarvot	$9.99	50%	41 hours	72
Zenith	$7.49	50%	11/1	-

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I was doing some tax documents this afternoon and started to reflect on my investing performance over the past few years. I'm 25 now, when I started my first job right of out university at 22 I had no idea what to do with the money I was earning. I ended up investing (gambling) on ASX penny stocks, and actually got really lucky... at first.
My first "win" was AVZ, a lithium mining company based in the Congo. I put my first $10,000 from my job into it with no research other than believing the hype on HotCopper. I rode it all the way to $50,000! At 22 this made me feel like the king of the world, and I got addicted to that thrill of finding the next winner. If I could pull the same trick a few times in a row, I would be a millionaire within a year!
Over the next two years, I would steadily erode that $40,000 total gain into a $15,000 total loss. I speculated on everything from a gold mining company in Brazil, to a cobalt explorer in Namibia, to exchange rate futures in the United States, to biotechs, and on and on...
In February 2020, three years after the beginning of my investment journey, I reached a point where I accepted I had a problem. I wasn't an "investor", I was a gambler. I looked at people who put their life savings into slot machines at the casino with disdain, and then realised I was exactly like them. I sold everything I still had in the share market and did some research into the financial independence retire early (FIRE) movement. I accepted there was no shortcut to riches, I would have to earn and save just like everyone else.
Now I'm here looking at this $15,000 loss and wondering, how badly did I screw up? Is this something that has happened to other people as well? I'd like to hear your experiences so I don't feel like such a moron :(
Today, I have a portfolio of VEU, IVV, and A200. Funnily enough, I had my own personal financial crisis just before COVID-19 hit, enabling me to buy these three ETFs right after their prices collapsed. That softened the blow somewhat.
TLDR: I was a moron during my first three years of earning and "investing", and turned a $40,000 gain into a $15,000 loss by betting on penny stocks. How bad did I screw up? Has something similar happened to you?

So, for those of you who are familiar with REALLY black hat affiliate marketing this wouldn't be a huge surprise, but still.
Basically, i think i found the ultimate way to promote online casinos as an affiliate and make huge amounts of money with it, and basically this is by turning lots of people into temporary (or not so temporary) gambling addicts.
Is this immoral? I'm a diagnosed sociopath and i couldn't care less, we're all adults and we're all responsible for our decisions. Is this illegal? No.
Basically, let's first analyze what a gambling addict is and HOW HE THINKS:
The key factor that distinguishes a gambling addict from an enthusiast is that the addict genuinely thinks he can beat the game, he thinks he knows what the next card coming out the deck is going to be, he thinks he knows that the next roll of the slot machine is going to be the one etc.
So, how do you turn random people into gamblers? You PROVE THEM you found an actual method to actually beat the game, and you prove it in an incontestable way just so that nobody can prove you wrong. This is going to cost you some money btw, let's say 500 bucks, but you'll make a lot more in a day so...
Basically, here's what you do:
1) You create a fake Baypal balance, just log into your Baypal account and select the values, right click, then "inspect". Now you can edit whatever you want and create a fake balance showing fake payments from whatever company you want (name of the casino, will explain later, but you have to put money in the casino, lose some, and then get it back on Baypal so that you know the exact name that will appear when you receive payments). This would only be illegal only if you were selling the method, but you're going to give it away for free (because it's not a method) so no worries.
2) Once you have the fake Baypal set up you record the screen and start talking, say stuff like "Hey everyone i'm recording this video to show you this INSANE method i just found to make money online, i wouldn't believe this because they told me it was a method to make a lot of money easily, but i tried it and wow, this is crazy. BLA BLA BLA. I'm a MATH graduate and i couldn't get a job anywhere, let alone a well paid job. BLA BLA BLA."
3) You then start talking about the money you made while moving your cursor ONTO the numbers so that people will see it's not a screenshot that you could've photoshopped because the page is interacting, because it's a real page, just edited. You basically just say stuff like “so you can see my balance now is 36k which is not all the money i made in this past month/month and a half, you can see i received these payments here, i was testing it first, made the first 221,64 bucks here, then 743,85 (remember not-so-perfect numbers have more impact), then i started doing this seriously and we got to 4k, 13k, and 28k today.”
4) You then keep talking for a bit about how crazy this is and it has changed your life, make sure the whole talk lasts about 3-4mins, then say “let’s not waste any time here, let me show you how this works”. And you stop recording. This will be the first part of the video just save it as it is, you’ll find out why later.
5) Open up whatever online casino you’re going to promote (will discuss on how to get your affiliate link later) on which you already loaded 50 euros or dollars, then start recording again, this will be the second part of the video, but people will not even notice the cut.
Say “this method works in online casinos. Okay i know what you’re thinking, don’t worry this is not one of those black-red tricks that don’t work, they’re scams and we all know that, this is a new method and works, as you saw on my Baypal, but i will show it to you live. Please remind most online casinos are not functional for this method because they will find a way to block you after you keep winning all the time, check the description for the link to this one that i’m using which is the very best. so, let’s go to the roulette section and pick french roulette. this is our workplace, i guess everyone knows how roulette works, but here we’re not trying to get lucky, we’re following a precise sequence which is this one *show sequence image at this point* (which is basically Red Black Red Red Black Black in cycles) and i’ll put a link for this too. Here’s how it works:”
So, you have to apply this cycle while placing your bets, this cycle actually kinda works, but it just makes your chances of winning slightly above 50%, it’s nothing special, but looks like it. What you do is you keep betting the colors of the cycle all the time, while explaining what you’re doing with confidence, betting 0,10€ at a time, saying this is exactly where you started from. If you win you place the minimum bet again, if you lose you double up, if you lose again you double up again, but you keep following the sequence as a cycle.
Explain that this is the classic double-up, but it’s very different because YOU HAVE A PRECISE SEQUENCE THAT CAN’T BE REVERSE-FOLLOWED ALL THE TIME, and thus is 100% winning, all of this while proving it, while still suggesting the more you bet the more money you make.
This might go very wrong and you’d end up wasting 50€, if that happens (took me 6 trys, 300€, to get the right one) record this part of the video from scratch and load 50 more euros, as i said this will cost you money. When you get the right shot and get to let’s say 51€, point out that you just made 1€ in a couple mins, starting from 0,10, which is A LOT, point that out clearly.
6) If step 4 went correctly now say “so, i think you’ve figured out how this works but let me prove you this works for real, i’ll set a stopwatch, do it for a while speeding up the video so that you see what i’m doing, and i’ll be right back” then proceed to activate a stopwatch, go back to the casino page for a couple seconds and CUT the video.
7) Now, in post-production, you’ll take the part where you explained the method and use that video while speeding it up very quickly.
8) Go back to the casino, try until you win one bet so that it will show (that’s really hard to edit), then edit your balance to around 56€. Start the stopwatch again from 0:00, and go back to the casino page.
9) When 5 mins or so have passed start recording FROM THE CASINO PAGE, go the the stopwatch, stop it, and say “so that was 5 mins”. Go back to the casino page and show you are now at 56€, say “we made 5 more euros, and that was 5 minutes, let’s calculate how much WE WOULD’VE MADE if i kept going for an hour.” Pull out whatever calculator you want and divide euros by minutes (in this case 5 divided by 5, could be different in your case depending on what you decide to do) in this case it will show 1€ a minute, multiply x60 and say “guys, 60€ an hour, i know people are getting jobs for like 7€ an hour or less, let’s see how much that’d be if i kept doing it for 8 hours, that’s 480€. In a few days that will be a month of salary, and that’s with 0,10 bets, can you imagine what that would be if we made 1€ bets? this is insane.”
10) Pull out a table you previously created, showing bets, expected earnings and SAFETY RATIOS (totally made up).
Basically, 0,10 lost bets doubling up 9 times (which will look very very rare if step 4 went correctly) will require a 51,20€ balance for ABSOLUTE certainty, 25,20€ for VERY GOOD CERTAINTY and 6,40€ for GOOD CERTAINTY, create the rest of the board according to other bet options. Then on a side of the board show hourly and monthly potential earnings working 2 hours a day, so let’s say 60€ an hour as in hour example (point out that you usually go faster than what you did during the chronometer) and this will result in 3.600€ a month with 2 hours a day.
Explain the table and talk about the great earnings you can achieve with just 0,10 bets or 0,20 bets with just 2 hours a day, and then talk about the earnings you can achieve with higher bets, that REQUIRE CERTAINTY. Say “How do you get certainty, with a higher balance, here’s what we have, for 0,10 bets 6,40€ is good certainty, 25,20 is very good certainty and 51,20 is absolute certainty”. Suggest people to do 1€ bets (that require 512€ for absolute certainty) because they will be able to make 36k a month with just 2 hours IF THEY DO THIS SLOWLY, one hour if they do it faster. Keep discussing the huge earnings they can achieve, and point out you achieved a lot more and that the table underestimates it, as they saw in your Baypal. do some small talk for a while, the whole videos should be 15-20mins long.
11) End the whole video by saying “guys, i’m not joking this is for real, you’ve seen my Baypal, you’ve seen me do this right in front of you, it works, you’ll see for yourself, i’ll put the WEBSITE LINK (avoid saying “go play now” or phrases that directly encourage gambling) and the FREE DOWNLOAD link for the sequence in the description, i changed my life and got my dream life and you can do this too, dreams are not dreams anymore, they’re goals that you can achieve, bye!”
So, this is how you create the gambler-maker video that will turn random people into real gamblers. The cool thing is that the lowest “absolute certainty” balance is 51,20 but they can’t deposit 51,20 because they will be able to deposit 50, so if they comment the video saying they lost their money say the didn’t listen to you and needed 51,20. They will then refill their balance. Lots of people will do the same with the 512 balance. Delete upset comments if they don’t take any “advice” and place some “this changed my life” and “1000€ in 2 hours easiest money of my life” comments with fake profiles during the first week or two.
Most online casinos will pay you a 20% commission on deposits when you’re first starting out as an affiliate and will go to even 300% CPA on deposits, meaning a 500 deposit will make you a 1.500€ commission, or something like that depending on the one you choose.
The problem with them is that they will be very upset if they found out you’re promoting their casino this way (but will enjoy the money) so before you apply for their affiliate program here’s what you do:
You go to Blu3host and purchase 2 domains and hosting for each, about 70 bucks for each (will last 1 year) call one something like “makethatdr3ammoneynow(DOT)c0m” and the other one “casinofunreviews(DOT)c0m”.
Use Blu3host because it has integrated wordpress.
Log into casinofunrevi3ws(DOT)c0m and log into wordpress, go to plugins and search for “pretty links” install that plugin (the logo is a start with blue lines behind it like a comet) what this plugin does is it CLOAKS your link, not for people, but for the casino, this is to make sure the casino thinks you’re promoting them in a legit way. Anyway, with the Prettylinks plugin you can create redirects like “casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m/casino” will immediately redirect to the casino with your affiliate link, you can figure this out very very easily when you have Prettylinks in front of you.
Now, you still don’t have your affiliate link so you’ll only do this when you get it, here’s what you do. Click on “add post” and write a post about a game like “book of ra” making a fake review saying it looks good and it fun to play overall and rate it 7/10 or something and bla bla bla, add a picture of it and that’s it. Do this for a couple more games always WITHOUT ENCOURAGING GAMBLING, they have to look like posts aimed at sunday-gamblers who do it for fun.
When you ask for your application as an affiliate they will ask you for an url, send them your perfectly legit friendly gambling blog (casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m) when they approve you and you get the link create the redirect like casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m/casino or something like that
Now go to your other domain (makethatdr3ammoneynow(DOT)c0m) and basically only write one post writing “link to the website” (create hyperlink to your redirect link, NOT YOUR AFFILIATE LINK, so that the text “link to the website” sends to casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m/casino) and “link to the sequence” that you will upload somewhere for free download and create an hyperlink for that too.
In the video description type “for the website link and download link click h3re: makethatdr3ammoneynow(DOT)c0m” and they will land on your website that just presents them the 2 hyperlinks and that’s it. Perfect.
Then go back to casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m and create a new post and talk about the casino you’re an affiliate of, review it and say it looks very good, good design and all and very fun games, and create an hyperlink for it in the post, right on their name, like, if the casino’s name is “bananacasinogummybear” you write “so, i’ve recently played some games on bananacasinogummybear…. bla bla bla” and the hyperlink sends to “casinofunr3views(DOT)c0m/casino” AGAIN.
The purpose of all this thing is that the casino will see where the new subscribers come from, if you put the redirect right on youtube they’d know you’re using youtube, and they would only have to google the link to find your video. If you do this like i explained to you they will see the traffic is coming from the super legit blog you showed them. THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
So, this was my very black hat and highly manipulative way to make lots of money quickly af (just create a fake fb profile, search gambler-games-related pages and add a few people and post a status saying “i will post a video showing you a crazy method to makes lots of money, ask your dearest friends to add me” and keep adding people too, just spam a bit, it will go kinda viral very quickly (because the method kinda looks like it really works, but it doesn’t, so people will be sharing your video even after trying for themselves)
Make sure you make the youtube video “not listed” if you want to be really safe, because even thought this is legal it’s really immoral, and i suggest you to take it down after you made enough money to start a morally legit business, make sure the video doesn’t go super viral or you’ll be forever known in history as the scammer guy, trust me, you might end on tv sooner than you think, so make sure you take everything down if the views start getting out of hand, and my best advice is to take it down anyway after making 200k out of this, that’s enough money to start an insanely profitable online business very easily, a business that would make you 50k a month too, but morally.
I don’t care about morality, but being tagged as a scammer won’t be good for you, so avoid that at all costs.
Enjoy the money you’ll be making by tricking a casino into thinking you're just an amateur blogger who has fun playing games while in reality you're turning strangers into gambling addicts (even tho most people will quit after wasting a grand or so, sometimes less, a grand could be 3k commissions for you tho) and don’t start gambling yourself, the method doesn’t work, i can guarantee, just looks like it if you’re lucky enough to get it on video. it’s just like the dudeperfect videos or the yeahigotskills guy, those are not 1st try shots, but look like it.
ONE LAST THING: make sure you crop the video so that it doesn’t show the url of the casino so that even the smart guys will have to click on your link, when they get there they will just be too lazy and join through your affiliate link anyway.

When: 2014 or 15, probably April
We roll into Vegas after dark, my friend Jerry driving, I riding shotgun, my then wife rolling around in the back of the ruby red '94 Ford Aerostar on the mattress that replaced the seats.
We are dressed in what can only be described as Trailer Park Hippies. Jerry wears sweat pants (he wore a lot of sweat pants back then), a striped shirt, beanie, and square-frame glasses, as he's blind as a bat. My wife is dressed like a bag lady, a tye dye "Workaholics" shirt, ripped jeans, America Hat beanie hat worn ironically over dirty dreadlocks, and I'm wearing a a lot of flannel and sporting a fiery red Leprechaun beard and hair down to my shoulders.
We have a stash that would make Hunter S. Thompson shed tears of joy. We're cruising in with a few ounces of weed, a tinfoil wrapper full of hash, a 10-strip of LSD, an eightball of coke, case of lite beer, and a laundry basket full of oranges and grapefruits acquired in Arizona.
We had been living off of coke, grapefruits, acid, beer and cigarettes laced with hash.
We were young and ready for what Vegas had to offer.
Jerry drives past The Flamingo and we keep going on to Fremont Street. That is our destination, and we plan on milking it for all the free drinks we can.
We drive around for a minute before noticing a $5-all-night parking lot. Perfect. We figure after we get too wasted and broke, we'll just come back and crash in the back of the van.
Jerry, it's always Jerry, cuts up one hit of acid into three little pieces and passes them out.
Jerry then keys up bumps of coke for everyone.
My wife, DD, rolls a nasty hash cigarette and we roll out of the van and smoke it on our way down to Fremont Street.
The thing about taking a little bit of acid is, is you can drink all night. A half hit of acid and you're ready to drink an Irishman under the table. I can't explain how or why it works, but it does. 1/3 of a hit should do the same thing, and we're feeling good.
Vegas is your typical Vegas that I had expected. There's a Danny DeVito impersonator here, a Boss Hogg there, big-titted Showgirls lined up ready to take your money for a photo. Street performers, some of them fantastic, some of them sad. There is a nearly naked man waving a sign that reads, "Money Activates Me". I put a dollar in his hat, and he starts jiggling and shaking and making weird beeping noises. I am a little sad.
As soon as we arrive on Fremont Street I look up to a giant television prompter on the ceiling with Blue Angels flying across while "America the Beautiful" plays over the loudspeakers. I walk past a large Mexican woman wearing all purple.
Jerry tells us that they'll give you free drinks if you play the slot machines. We decide to investigate and pop into the first casino we see. We each slip a dollar into a machine and a waitress comes over and tells us, "make it at least $3, guys". A little saddened, but compliant, we do as we're told.
We spend the next few hours like this. Hopping from casino to casino, putting in as little money as possible, getting as many free drinks as possible. After awhile, it gets tiresome and we spot a crowd heading towards the far side of the street and decide to investigate.
All night we see this horrible Wook-like creature and he has come up to us and asked us for different drugs at least three times. DD must've taken the biggest 1/3 because her pupils are the size of nickels. The first few times he asked for acid, then he asked for DMT. I had never done DMT at that point, but from what I had heard, it would do him no good here. We think he's a cop. We ignore him.
Drinks in hand, we see what the commotion is about, Cheap Trick! is playing a free show. Hell Yes, we think. We push our way to the entrance and are told we cannot bring the drinks in. We each chug our beers and make our way in.
The crowd at Cheap Trick! is rude as far as rock concerts go. It's a bunch of people way more sober than us and they won't let us pass. We're standing shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder with a group of angry looking bikers and decide that Cheap Trick! can go fuck themselves.
We exit the concert and walk to the other end of Fremont Street.
There is another free concert going on, an 80's cover band with the singer dressed like Devo and the bassist wearing stuffed animal pants – that is, Pants covered in stuffed animals. There are only about 20 people in attendance. We're so there.
We walk to the front without any problem and begin our own dance circle.
They have two vocalists, a hot French-looking chick and a man dressed as dollar store Devo.
Jerry thinks French chick is looking at him.
The bandplays a rousing rendition of "Blister in the Sun" and during one of "When I go walkin I strut my stuff and I'm so strung out/I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out" parts, Devo guy holds the microphone out to us and we gargle through it.
He shouts for the band to stop, wait, hold on. Stop stop stop.
"You people are the drunkest people I have ever seen!"
Too drunk to be embarrassed, we continue to dance. We dance until they stop playing.
The acid at this point has all but run its course and the booze is catching up with us.
DD is starting to lose steam.
We decide to drink more.
Walking into a casino, the overhead television plays "America the Beautiful" again as Blue Angels fly and Purple Pants Mexican lady is walking by us again, singing, "Uh-MARE-i-KUH" and crying profusely. She is having a good time.
Unsure of what time it is, we're too fucked to gamble anymore and head to the bar. We attempt to order the cheapest drinks and the bartenders all ignore us.
We get our $2 teas, (“Hold on, I have to make three shitty drinks” quoth the bartender) and walk back outside to get some air. Vegas is starting to spook me out.
People walk down the street and flick a butt, unnamed janitors come from nowhere and sweep it up like it might never have happened. Vegas is like a physics problem. The cigarette butt is like Schrodinger’s Cat. Without the janitor, it may or not be there.
As the night drags on, we see human decency deteriorating.
Having made our way somehow to The Flamingo, we scope out a group of guys who we believe are going to date rape some girl who’s had too much to drink. Maybe it’s the acid enhancing our perceptions, or any of the drugs making us ever more paranoid. Maybe those guys really were out to hurt that woman. We followed them all for some time before realizing we were fucked up and it wasn’t our fight. We needed to get back to the van to sleep.
We make our way back to the van and roll the door open. DD plops down on the mattress, but Jerry and I are determined to gamble and drink more. I promise her I’ll be good.
Just right then two SECURITY dudes on bikes roll by and see the mattress and see the hippie lady sitting upon it. “Y’all can’t sleep here.”
I inform them, but sirs, we paid the $5, and we are way, way, WAY too drunk to drive at this point.
“That’s fine, sirs” he tells me, “but you can’t sleep here. You’re welcome to gamble in our casinos all night, or get a hotel room.”
DD raises her voice to the security dudes and I have to tell her to cool it. We’re out of our element. This is Vegas. We can’t win this one.
I tell them, ok, and they ride off.
I’m too fucked to drive so I tell Jerry he’s going to have to rally and get us out of here. We all begin chugging water, our eyes rolling around in our heads, brains still slightly dripping from the acid.
We’re all yelling at each other that this was a stupid idea. Jerry chugs an adequate amount of water and he climbs into the cockpit. I ride shotgun. We got this.
We drive around aimlessly til we find an indoor parking garage that doesn’t charge us a fee on the way in. We drive to a heavily populated area and kill the engine. Jerry and I fly into the backseat and we keep our heads down, trying to find sleep in what’s left of the night.
We get two hours of sleep when I decide we have to go. Right now.
I think I’m cool to drive, so I start out our journey. The sun is right in my face as I’m leaving and I’m way too hungovestill drunk/fucked up to be doing this. I stop at a gas station for a fill up and on my way in I see a man just grinning at me. I’m in no mood. Who is this asshole just smiling at me at 6 o clock in the morning?
Turns out it was a cardboard cutout of Jeff Gordon. Jesus. Christ.
I pay for my gas and get back to the car. I tell Jerry he’s driving, and I need to sleep.
We drive a few minutes and pull up to an Airstream Diner and decide to fuel up our bellies. The whole night in Vegas we didn’t consume any food, just drugs and booze, and we were in need of nourishment.
We sit at the counter and the man with the plan is an older Hispanic man who appears to be running everything by himself. I order an omelette, toast and hashbrowns, and coffee, sweet, merciful coffee. Biscuits and gravy for Jerry, with “grandma coffee” (that is coffee with too much cream and sugar). DD got a stack of pancakes.
When our food came, the proprietor asks DD if she would like any syrup? She holds her plate above her head like an offering to the man and says nothing. He laughs and asks again what kind of syrup would she like? Blueberry it was.
A little food in us, we begin to feel better.
We hit the road, California Bound! I resign to the mattress in back and pass out, Jerry driving, DD his copilot.
I awake some time later to the sound of metal grinding on metal. The van is moving against its own will.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
Jerry is throwing it in reverse and trying to back up but the damage is already done.
We are in line waiting to cross into the great state of California. I see a sign for “Fruit Inspection”. I look around the back and there’s grapefruits and oranges and peelings and all kinds of citrus just rolling around. We’re fucked. If not for the coke and hash, then for all the fruit contraband.
I try to gather up all the citrus, but when it gets to be our turn to cross, the guards at the window tell us simply to pull through to deal with our accident.
What luck. A wagonload of drugs and illegal fruit and we get a pass because some Rent An RV guy decided to rearrange my van’s front end. Sweet.
We pull through and pile out of the van. I inspect the damage. It’s mostly cosmetic. The plastic bumper is gone, both headlights are smashed and dangling by wires. The blinkers are fucked. I will be using my arm signals for the rest of my van’s life.
I walk up to the RV and pound on the door. An older, Eastern European man, noticeably drunk and shoeless steps out. I ask does he have insurance (I miraculously do). He says yes yes yes, sure sure sure. Why don’t you come into my RV?
No, I tell him. Good out here.
He disappears inside and comes back a few minutes later with a stack of papers, none of which are insurance. After a few minutes of going nowhere, I decide to call it even. I don’t want to attract any attention to us with the cops and would rather just get down the road, blow and all.
The four of us get into our collective vehicles, the Chechen's relatively untouched; ours, a sex crime victim, and we set sail for the promised land - Californ-I-A!
I'm trying to assemble a selection of stories. Heart on Sleeve. Don't be too rough. With love, and honesty